Stern89

October 2011

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What did the two oceans say to each other? →

Nothing.

they

just

waved

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When you realize you're going to be home alone:

Oh yeah, I’mma free bitch!

You hear the slightest noise:

Oct 31, 201176,284 notes

What do you call identical boobs?

Identitties.

 

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I didn't run into anyone I know today. →

Guess who’s wearing the exact same thing tomorrow.

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You know when you walk into a room and forget why you went in there? That's God playing Sims, he just cancelled your action.

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When I miss a step on the staircase

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The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest.

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